The hidden story

Years ago, during a trip to the USA, I flew over the Lake Meade, the reservoir formed by the Hoover Dam. At the time I was awestruck by its size of the lake and the dam which held it. Today tens of thousands reap the benefit of the dams construction and the electricity it generates.

Years later I learnt of the cost of this marvel of Engineering. 107 workers died during its construction. Many more were maimed by work place accidents or suffered long term effects from carbon monoxide poisoning while tunnelling through.

In the depths of the depression the army of workers were willing to put their lives at risk everyday for the alternative was destitution and starvation. Even if they escaped death or injury the working conditions were harsh, and the living conditions for their families even harsher. Many lived in tents in the desert. When a town was finally built to house the workers and their families, ¼ of their wage was subtracted by the company to pay for accommodation.

Some of the workers who were affected by carbon monoxide poisoning tried to sue the company who employed them, but during the trial corrupt doctors employed by the company testified that the mean were suffering from influenza.

The story of the Hoover Dam made me start to think. How many of the benefits that I currently enjoy are due to the oppression and exploitation of the powerless. New Zealand’s history is full of betrayal, land confiscation and exploitation. It is part of the hidden history of New Zealand. While the safety and working conditions have improved dramatically many, especially in the construction sector still risk major injury every time they go to work.

Also many of the imported goods found in the shops are manufactured in sweat shops where safety standards are minimal and the health of the workers badly affected by unsafe work practices. I greatly benefit from these goods. But am I supporting the oppression of the weak by buying such goods? Is their blood on my hands as much as the blood of the dead workers of the Hoover Dam is on the hand of the managers of the company that built it?

Expectations

I remember going to various Christian camps and conferences over the years and hearing a lot about the need to expect something big from God. That what I'll recieve depends upon what I expect from God. If I expect something little then that we will recieve little whereas if I expect something big then I will recieve something big.

And I've gone expecting something big from God only to find that these expectations have not been met. So I've questioned what God was doing, and why should I expect anything from God. Afterall "he who does not expect will never be disappointed!"

But maybe I've misunderstood what this expectation thing is all about. We have an infinite and holy God who is passionate us to the point that he pursues us to the ends of the earth if needs be. But I am sinfilled and finite and my lmiitations colors my expectations of what God wants to achieve.

So how do I expect the right thing from God, so that my expectations are met and I don't go away disappointed? Maybe it begins not with me but with God. Beginning with God is always a good place to start. It is about finding a meeting place with this God of infinite love and compassion, a God who is concerned about justice and suffering. It is about laying down my own agenda and hearing what God wants to say and listening to his heartbeat.

In this reflection I am reminded of the example of Moses. Moses was called a friend of God and was able to talk to Him face to face. In reading about the relationship Moses had with God the thing that strikes me most is the honesty of Moses, and his humility. From this I conclude that if I truly want to meet with God then I also need to be both honest and humble. Only then will I never be disappointed.

Romance from a distance

Christians are called to a personal relationship with an invisible God. Now how can you have a personal relationship with someone who can’t be seen? It has all the problems, frustrations and pitfalls of along distance relationship magnified 1000x over.

In a long distance relationship the other person is never present. This leads to a sense of unreality to the relationship. Even with the aid of modern communications such as email, text and MSM the unreality of the relationship continues. This is because most communication is non-verbal. It is the look, the sigh, the smile. It is how the word is said as much as what is said. All these are missing in a long distance relationship. In its place is a sense of frustration and confusion. Have I really understood what the other is saying? Have they understood me?

This is why most long-distance relationships are doomed to fail. Misunderstandings are inevitable. The frustration builds to breaking point. Then the end comes, sometimes in a massive explosion, sometimes at the end of a slow drift where neither realizes it is over until nothing is heard from the other for weeks or months. How the end comes is of little consequence, the only thing that matters is that the relationship is over.

There are some whom are immune to the contradictions and frustrations of the type of relationship. They are the mystics of the world, the St Teresa’s pierced by the arrow of God who have entered into some kind of mystical romance that is beyond the comprehension of mortals like myself.

And what of the rest of us? How is it possible to keep the relationship alive when most of the time if you are like me you are never sure what God is saying or doing; when the whisper of God is so quiet that it is inaudible. Some would say that we have the Bible as God’s love letter to us.

But often I find the Bible is like some letter written years earlier. As treasured as it is, and as deep as the truth that is contained within its pages, it cannot always meet me where I am right now. Such is the paradox of my relationship with God. As real as he is he is also so unreal.

Writting my euology

I try not not think about. After all death is so final so complete. It marks an end. And I've experienced too many ends so far.

Yet here I was in a classroom asked to think about and write my own eulogy. It seemed so strange. But as I thought about it a few random thoughts came to mind

In writing these down I realize that ultimately I can't write my own eulogy; only those who survive me can do that.

What I can do is live a life worthy of the eulogy that I'd want to be written. so what it is worth here are some of my random thoughts -

Accepted all whom I met where they were, not where I'd want them to be
Never asked more of anyone than that which they were able to give
Was loyal, trustworthy, loved and loved in return
Was faithful to my values and true to myself
Served my god with my whole heart and was loved by him in return
Never gaved up no matter how hard the road
Felt the pain of life, but found a way to rise above it
Embraced life for what it is.